When Saturdays are a bust.

I've recently decided to start watching Ally McBeal again, because sometimes i like to relive my childhood.

Today was interesting. As I have mentioned, I have been  having all the feelings.  Mostly, I am 2 seconds away from tears.

In short. I hate hormones. If i am every pregnant, we are all doomed. ALL OF US.

Lately,  I've been trying to distinguish the difference between things being your choice but also people want you to make a specific choice.

I know its a lot of things are my choice, but sometimes it's just nice to for people to WANT you to be with them, come with them....or whatever. Like the desire for you to exist with them in a space is important that them.

Sometimes I don't always feel like that.

All the feelings. I just need to get them under control so i'm not feeling like crying every 5 mins.

I have literally done no things today. I cleaned the kitchen and thats it. So i'm  feeling like a giant waste of space today.

Side note: I relate to Ally McBeal in all ways. It's ridiculous.

Deciding whether or not to go to church tomorrow. I should, and i know it, but i'm stubborn and i don't like feeling like a tag along. My alarm is set. I'm sure i'll report back.

But there's a rita and doreen and hugging them will likely make me cry because hormone and i miss them.

I like to fancy myself an all for one and one for all kind of girl. I don't typically get jealous about friendships or anything, but sometimes....i do. and sometimes. I miss the idea of best friends.

Because it really just is a lovely concept.

Writing make me crazy. It makes me understand my head a lot better, it also makes me realize how most things sound ridiculous when i write it all out, and i'm just as crazy as everyone else.