she's nobody's girl.....

There is something to be said for belonging to somebody or a group of people. It's like being able to go home no matter where you are. Everyone's lives somehow fit together...like a giant puzzle of love....or at least mutual enjoyment..isn't that what we're all striving for? To belong...somewhere, to something, to somebody...

i'm glad that there are lives that i fit easily into. Like there was a space just for me in their life's little puzzle. And, similarly that my life is just full of lovely people shapes that fit perfectly in my little world, and more spaces waiting to be filled....

and sometimes lying around in sweats watching funny things on the Internet is what we were always meant to do on a rainy sunday.

or eating cheesecake laughing about how we usually don't know what we are doing or what's going on and we always end up laughing at the ridiculousness of the situations we find ourselves in....

or sitting on the floor of a strangers house hearing really good music not being bothered by any looming problems that threaten to undo pieces of our puzzles, scattering pieces everywhere.....

And we can laugh about how much paint we got on ourselves and which one of us is the most clumsy. Then sit and rattle off a play list of memories that are the best reminders of why we love each other so much that we'd be willing to get up extra early on a weekend to do so manual labor.  Or pick each other up when our cars are broken., or pick each other up off the floor when everything gets crazy.

Walking around the this beautiful city we've found ourselves in, that sitting on a deck talking about the most random of things, sitting a church pew, or theatre seat together and sharing all of what life throws at us is the secret to happiness.

There is this feeling that comes with fall that everyone's missing pieces will somehow find their homes. That we will all find ourselves in our most comfortably, heart exposing, attire and we'll snuggle up on the couch together with piles of blankets and cups of tea and coffee and just be very glad that we've all found each other and we are able to share this moment.

and say for certain, that though our shapes are all different, some more jagged than others, some rounded and worn,  we all fit and belong somewhere wonderful.

Who i am is not just me.....

Let me tell you a little story about a girl who is in love with Fall.

Fall is like an old friend that you haven't seen for awhile but no matter how long it's been, you always feel this strong connection that nobody knows you in quite the same way.

Somehow the sunsets in fall are more beautiful. The air smells like memories and cinnamon and bonfires. The street lamps and falling leaves tuck you in every night, and sweatshirts and coffee cups greet you in morning.

There is an energy in fall that no other season has. While nature is slowing down and going to sleep, we seem to be more focused, productive and on the go. We run through leaves that make a crunching noise that brings you back to when you were 8 (or in my case 25) and you jumped in huge piles. You would lay in the leaves and watch the clouds and laugh with your friends about all your crazy plans.

Fall is full of picture days, Halloween parties, cider, hay rides, hugs, old friends, traditions, browns, red, oranges , yellows, football, lazy Sundays, leaf piles, scarecrows.  and backpacks and school books, and old books with leather bindings whose words will change your life. The smell of life not being all that complicated.

Fall reminds me that i love simple things. That Sunday afternoons watching football and reading a really great book are all i need to be happy.  That eating my mom's soup is exactly what i need on a cold day. Going to my grandma's to rake her lawn almost always means good food and conversation to follow, and a hug that's probably the best hug i've had in awhile. That rosey cheeks and red wine are reasons to smile....and people always come back home, and somehow the world just makes sense again.

Welcome, old friend, let's sit and enjoy each other's company for awhile, and remember all the reasons that life is beautiful and full of possibility.

the sum of all my parts....

sometimes the sum of my parts is not exactly what i think it should be.
like i've done the wrong math.
like sometimes, my flaws are greater than or equal to my strengths.

when really, my faults are absolute zero when compared with everyone else.
Because really, insecurity and inperfection are our common denominator.

Sometimes i feel less than, though i know i'm always equal to.

But love makes me greater than all the negatives.
and no matter how you look at it:

you+me=us
us=we
we=love

and, love, is simply always the answer. Doesn't matter how you got there, as long it's your final answer.