things...

There are things I keep close to my heart
i pull them out when things start to get fuzzy
and when i need to believe that life
doesn't mean to break your heart.

what's done and yet to come, amen....

next time, i'll be braver, i'll be my own savior standing on my OWN TWO FEET.

Somehow your heart just always knows the way....

Sometimes, i look in the mirror and the person i'm looking at is

strange. 

she looks lost, like she can't quite figure out where she's going

yet, there's a quiet confidence that's she's finally found.

Found.

She's where she's supposed to be. 

as if there was a cut in this city made especially for her.

how does she explain to her reflection, to the pieces of her heart

 that "home" has many meanings.

Home. is everywhere. 

Home is no where.

How can she leave the people she loves, 

for the people she loves?

What does she say after months of being away.

She's changed. They've changed. 

Things are different. 

Yet, not enough for to be unrecognizable. 

She stares are the ground, trying to get through 

the most mundane of salutations. 

Getting through how are yous and what's news

when inside her heart is aching to tell everyone 

how much she loves them.

distance. makes the heart grow fonder.

distance makes her forget. 

She just needs reminders. 

Idle chit-chat. 

awkwardness

maybe things have changed too much

Is she still the person that they love?

What do they really think?

Do they miss her? 

Do they want her to stay?

What would she do if they asked her to stay.

to leave everything's she's built.

is it really that much?

Would their hearts sink to know

She is where she needs to be. 

She's not going to stay.

she can't.

Being gone is hard. 

From both places. 

How can both places feel so 

comfortable 

so right.

the girl in the mirror looks scared.

Putting on my coat, giving her one last glance

I assure her everything's ok. 

Your heart always knows the way. 

Your heart always leads you home. 

i never expected to be amen-ing about an introduction to a book but:

She learns from her students that they have more difficult lives than her storyteller's imagination can invent. her life have been comfortable and privileged compared to theirs. She never had to worry about feeding her babies before she went to class. she never had a father or boyfriend who beat her at night and left her bruised in the morning. She didn't have to plan an alternative route to avoid gangs in the school hallway. Her parents didn't plead with her to drop out of school so she could help them earn money.

How can art make a difference in this world? should she be teaching these students to write poetry when they need to know how to defend themselves from someone beating them up. can a memoir by Malcolm  X or a novel by Garica Marquez save them from the daily blows? And what about those who have such learning problems they can't even manage a book by Dr. Seuss but can weave a spoken story so wondrous, she wants to take notes. How can she teach her students to take control of their own destiny? She loves these students . What should she be doing to save their lives.

today's thing that i like best:

Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change, kiss slowly, forgive quickly, play hard, take chances, give everything, and have no regerts.

Long December....

Dude. it's December!

The holiday season is upon us and i could not be more jazzed. I love everything about this season. The snow, the lights, the smells, people coming home, the feeling that everywhere feels like home. It's just beautiful.

not to mention. Jesus. how cool is Jesus? WAY COOl.

This season of course we celebrate Jesus' birth. Why? Well, clearly because he came to you, know, save us.

But there is more. way more. Not that dying to save us isn't a big deal, because it is, it's huge. BUT THERE IS MORE!

I just read a book that rocked my world. It's called "kingdom come" and it's all about the Kingdom of God. The restored world where God can reign. Cool, right? and Jesus came to usher in the Kingdom. To get the ball rolling, so God can begin to restore EVERYTHING.

and it all started with a wee babe in a manger.

That.is.awesome. See, babies are cool.

The idea of the kingdom is something i haven't really thought about...... like ever. Well, at least until i started going to the Gallery. But what an amazing thing it is. One day everything will be restored and right now we are in a period of intense reconstruction.

So, God shows up and does his thing in our lives, sometimes we can feel him actively hammering, and gluing and cleaning up our lives, our worlds, and our hearts, and that is super beautiful.

Then there are times where all we can see are detour signs, and road closed, and "caution, under construction signs. and there are falling beams, and the floors are rickety. but it's all in preparation to make EVERYTHING BEAUTIFUL.

In the gundar song "beautiful things" really speaks to the work that's happening right now "you make beautiful things out of the dust"

On day, everything will be lovely, and restored for everyone. It's so much bigger than anything we could ever really wrap our mind around. We are all dust, but workin' our ways to beautiful and amazing, and all because God loves us SO SO SO much.

i mean, really? that's the best news, ever.

so, i'm really excited for advent. Getting ready for Jesus to come and for the Kingdom to come and for God's will to eventually to be done.  And then celebrating the fact that everything changed once Jesus busted on to the scene.

Prophesies were fullfilled. Promises were kept.

that is bitchin'.