I'm strug buggin' lately. 

I don't know how to turn off the my brain. I realize it's selfish of me to say "i try really hard" but i do. 

I create rules in my head that no one made up for me, i preempt things with excusing myself or making up a lame excuse because i feel like i'm breaking said rules 

and people are sick of me. so i do things before people ask me to because i've somehow created myself into the friend who "just knows" and does things without even having been told. 

and i'm just bad at it. and i feel bad about it. 

so no one wins.