I've been toying with all sorts of ideas on how to write an end of the year post.

But  I haven't come up with anything good, and, to be honest, the end of  year snuck up on me.

2014 has been...well, it's been. It's been filled with really cool, really hard, really life shaping things...and i'm grateful for all it but I'm not entirely sad to see it go.

This year was humbling to say the least, but also, character building.

I'm an anxious little thing when it comes to....everything..... life and plans and the future, and there's not a damn thing i can do about what's to come.

I can plan, i can do everything right but it honestly could be gone in an instant. The plan could not work out.

and that's okay.  (I say that, but even now, i'm having difficultly truly believing that)

I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude for my friends. the real ones. The ones that literally are the fucking best when i've been the absolute worst.

The ones who let me weep on their shoulders, and are still on the other side of the door when i slam it. The ones who are so selfless,  the ones who say nice things to me and hug me and laugh with me.

Those ones? yeah...i'm a lucky one because those don't come around too often.

Those friends are the ones you root for. The ones who you're insanely protective of, and loyal to. The ones you check in on, buy them presents when their kids have had lice and strep and people are the worst. the ones you make tea for when their sick. the ones you sit down with once a month and are just so thankful that you get to be at the table with these women.

I really like it when people never stop being sparkly. like the more time you spend with them the more you see how amazing they are, even if they get on your nerves sometimes. and the moments of gratitude for them out number the annoyances.

And it's funny to know that these specific people have had such a huge hand in shaping me for the better, in the most intense, beautiful way....and i'm so, so, so, thankful.