a really disjointed, weird, ode to 2015

I think that if i ever write a book it will be called " With Love: letter's to my life"

Today, I would like to address 2015, obviously. It's been an insane ride, so many good surprises and hard lessons, and grace. and grace and grace and grace and second chances and grace.

Did i mention grace?

Finding away to neatly wrap up this year with a nice little bow of a pithy statements is not going to be possible but, I will try with the words i have to reflect the gratitude I have.

This year has been about a lot things, but mostly it's been about 2nd chances, learning how to receive the grace that is extended to me, and sorting things out and finding my way back.

I know that i've messed up a billion times this year, i've said or done things that i shouldn't have. i 've jumped to conclusions, i've created scenarios in my head.

But for all the billion things i did wrong, there were a billion opportunities for grace and a billion and one chances.

Chances to find God again. Chances to give something another go. Chances to fall in love with the world again. Chances at friendships, chances at wellness.

Everywhere you look last year there was me, falling down, and someone helping me back up...and then i'd fall again and i'd get back up.

And I 1000% didn't deserve any of it and i'm still i awe of a lot of it. I don't understand how or why some people love me the way they do.

okay, honestly, this entire thing is weirdly disjointed, and i've been trying to write something when the words won't come.

So...yeah, there were a lot of second chances, there was a lot of redemption. Lost things were found, reminders of who I am were everything. Opportunities were literally presented to me on a platter.

and here we are. Looking at the next 365 days, i don't know what will happen. I'm sure I feel all the things, I will try hard, my feelings will get hurt, and i'll probably hurt other people's feelings.

But i'm going to try to take what i learned from my scraped knees in 2015 and hopefully not repeat the same mistakes.

I am going be intentional about being grateful for what i do have and not think about what I lack, or how things used to be. I'm going to burry what needs to be buried, not forgetting what i learned and how it made me feel but I won't let it dictate the future.

maybe.

2015 was a struggle but also amazing. and crazy and i laughed a lot and read a lot and cried a lot and loved a lot and it was good. It was all good. I think that's all you can ask from a full life.