Here's some things you should probably know about me. I was raised Lutheran so there is a part of me who loves the liturgy. I think there is something beautiful in tradition. A bundle of things that remain constant, that weave through generations, connecting dots to people. I just like it, there is something comforting about it.
And perhaps because of my Lutheran background. I am really in to things like Lent and Advent. Again, I think taking time to slow down, to listen, to pay attention to the whispers I've almost assuredly been missing....teaches me new things. About myself. about the world, about who Jesus is. It's always kind of hard. I always want to quit, but by the end, i've had these 40 days...(give or take a sabbath or 7) where I've really been intentional with my faith in a way that is different than just being in a small group or going to church on Sunday. As I've gotten older, I've learned to appreciate these things more because I've learned how to participate in it, in a way that is meaningful for me.
No one is holding accountable, no one is keep track, I am on this journey alone, and i do it because it makes me remember all the good things. All the grace, and peace, and mercy, that is consistently given. It also shows me how short I fall, how much I need the aforementioned things, and reminds me of my need for Jesus.
So Advent is here. We begin the countdown to Jesus. The other thing you should probably know about me is that i'm terrible at waiting. Like...so...horribly bad. I love surprising people but can never stand the wait until they know the surprise...so I'm always 3 seconds away from ruining everything.
I like to open Christmas presents early. As a kid I would beg my parents to let me open one present early. They eventually got so tired to me asking they wrapped one present in rice and noodles so it would rattle when i shook it and told me if i could guess what was in it, i could open it.
I never guessed correctly. And, as it turns out, this has become a tradition that still stands as of 2015.
Because when the Cases find something funny they never let it go.
So, I don't like to wait.
For the last little while here (read: more than a little while) I've found myself in...neutral. Waiting for something to happen that would propel me forward....Like willing to move, but absolutely needing a team of strong people to push me forward.
It hasn't gone over all that well for anyone, especially the people who love me. Mostly because as a semi-aggressive go-getter, the whole sitting around waiting for something to happen to me instead of going and making it happen was ridiculous.
That kind of waiting is propelled by fear. Fear of failure, rejection, broken hearts, broken pieces, messed up plans. It's not good to live in fear. That fear, if you let it, takes over, and twists everything into weird things and it makes you sad. It makes a different dark kind of sad, because if you fail or fall, you might hurt for a minute but you survive and move on, no worse for the wear.
But not moving because you're afraid, will hold you forever. You can't move on because...well....you're afraid to.
It's a gross circle. I don't recommend trying it. Just jump...because you'll be okay.
My point? lately, on a much bigger level, i feel like we...as like a human race...are just waiting out of fear...for jesus to come back or to...die. We see SO much darkness...so many unanswered prayers...so much chaos...that is scares us into not doing anything....waiting around for another people to do something.
This time we have...right now? Well, we already know that Jesus came, and he's coming again..and we wait...with expectant hearts for things to be restored.
The trick is, though, we can't just wait around. We have a responsibility to participate in the restoration. Every prayer, every time we help, everything we show grace and love people well...that light pushes back the darkness. There's more light....there's more Jesus. Now, don't get me wrong, i don't think these things will make Jesus come back faster, but seriously, when we live like we are called to, it makes a difference. It makes the world better...sometimes for a whole bunch of people, sometimes for just one person...sometimes forever...sometimes just for the next 12 hours...but it helps.
So this advent as we spend more time looking at how God fulfilled the promise of a Savior, as we await his return, let's be active in our waiting. It's super hard, especially when we don't know what to do, or how to do it....but let's just start somewhere.
Sometimes half the battle is starting.
Where am I going to start? Well, to be honest, the fact that my butt is back in a pew (literally a pew) is a start. The fact that I'm committing to write for the next 26 days....is a start. The fact that I'm going to try to have more grace with my darling high school students as we march toward Christmas break...is a start.
Where will you start?
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