My goodbye to Summer....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=By7YgbX3GuA


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNpm4VRRtgI

Things you can't tell just by looking at her.....

I'm about the list life today, so I figured I'd just share some randomness with you fools. I haven't had a post of substance in awhile, and this is going to continue to trend.

 Cue Usher...... These are my Confession:

1. I'm actually still so sad that Whitney Houston is dead.

2. When i'm really bummin' about life I watch one of two movies "Runway Bride" or "You've Got Mail"
2.5 I watch these two movies every fall, too, Even when i'm sad.

3. I've had my heart broken worse by the people who were my home team than any boyfriend ever has.
4.  I sometimes really worry that i'm not going to get married.

5. I have really beautiful friends and that stresses me out more than i'd ever really tell anyone.

6. I have a love/hate relationship with my body. I like my nose and my butt, and that's about it.

7. When people ask "if you could go anywhere on earth where would you go" I can never really think of an answer, even though i've never been anywhere, i'm not DYING to go anywhere either. I'd like to go to a lot of places....but i'm not like dying...you know?

8.  i really miss my parents but also they drive me crazy.

9. The tabs on my car are expired. I'm poor. so they stay expired. Whoops.

10. I'm nervous about the fall. and finding a place to land.

11. I still don't know what i want to be when i grow up, and I feel a lot of pressure to know.

12. I don't pray as often as i should. I fall in and out of habits

13. I'm totally convinced I was born in the wrong decade. Grew up loving "Bewitched" and "I love lucy" and "the Andy Griffith Show" and "breakfast and tiffany's" and "white Christmas" and listening to the beatles, and country music.

14. I'm always the funny.chubby.less pretty best friend. lol. I dont' mean that in a self depricating way, either.

15.  I am surrounded by the coolest/most loving/amazing humans. regularly.

16.  I dont' think i've ever really, really, been in love but i think that's great...it means its coming. :)

17.  i like bows, and headbands and dresses that twril, which is a change from 15 year old me.

18. I'm in the middle of a really intense season

19. I feel incredibly hopeful about some of the things on the horizon.

20. Lately, when people ask me what's new. i dont' have any stories of my own to tell, and that only half bothers me....which in turn bothers me....i cannot win.

21. So excited for Parenthood to be on. I can't even.

22. I want to be lorelai gilmore like no one's business.

23. Wicked is coming to the cities soon. I'm losing my mind about it.

24. I really like wearing sweatshirts.

25. I'm really great in other people crisis

26. I am horrified at the thought of failure

27.  I wall to wall people on facebook. It is the most annoying thing i do.

28. I like writing but i feel like my brain doesn't come up with enough interesting stuff/i have none life experience/i don't know how to be better.

29. this is the age i'm turning. I'm freaked out about it.

because i knew you, I have been changed for good....

First goal for the fall:

Adopt some college freshies. Send them love and happy. Pray for them. Build some good relationships. College can be lonely even when you're surrounded by people all the times, so sending them a little something that says "somebody somewhere gives and eff about you and who you're becoming" is pretty neat.

so jazzed. even more jazzed to get to do it with Lisa. We do good Jesus work together and we're almost always on the same page and when we're not. she tells m what page to get on.

So there's one goal and i feel really good about it.

i love back to school. and it also makes me a little sad but mostly everything is happy and the color of sunsets and nostalgia drips from everything.

lost in translation....

i don't know how to be in the inbetween, and you'd think at this point, i'd be much better at transition.


Also: The cities and are should have celebrated our 4 year anniversary 2 weeks ago. Many things have happened in 4 years.

I am a little church

“i am a little church(no great cathedral)
far from the splendor and squalor of hurrying cities
--i do not worry if briefer days grow briefest,
i am not sorry when sun and rain make april

my life is the life of the reaper and the sower;
my prayers are prayers of earth's own clumsily striving
(finding and losing and laughing and crying)children
whose any sadness or joy is my grief or my gladness

around me surges a miracle of unceasing
birth and glory and death and resurrection:
over my sleeping self float flaming symbols
of hope,and i wake to a perfect patience of mountains

i am a little church(far from the frantic
world with its rapture and anguish)at peace with nature
--i do not worry if longer nights grow longest;
i am not sorry when silence becomes singing

winter by spring,i lift my diminutive spire to
merciful Him Whose only now is forever:
standing erect in the deathless truth of His presence
(welcoming humbly His light and proudly His darkness)”   


i love ee cummings. i love this.

i love you, too, probably.

we go together like peanuts and paydays, marley and reggae...

Today is a Monday. It's a billion degrees out and summer is almost over which means real life is about to get super real and my dreams, the big ones and the little ones, HAVE to start turning into action.

Because I have to do something.

But on this day, with both the heaviness of the future on the horizon, snd the goodbye of summer waiting in the wings,  I'm so busy living my beautifully regular life that I don't have anything to write about that's not more of the same gushy business about belonging and things making sense when you "let go and let god." As true as all of that is, ain't nobody got time to read more of the same.

Slash lately, I'd rather be with my people than in my own head. They were gone for a week, which to people who are normal, is not a big deal, but I'm not normal and neither is my A-team so a week is a long time...and actually a lot happened. Lots to report on.

and I'd Rather report in person. I'd rather laugh and catch up and problem solve at the kitchen table.

And i hope you have people like that too, who make you want to get out of your own head to hear what's in theirs instead of being on the phone or computer or whatever, you know?

My life is pretty regular with a few extra dramatic flares thrown in for good measure, my cast of people though, they are lovely and anything but ordinary;.

So, i'm just feelin really good about everything. Trying to beat my anxiety of the future with a joyful heart knowing that God's probs got some awesome plans that are about to blow my mind.

And with a spin like that, you can't help but be super jazzed. am i right?

this is not the end, this is not the end of us.....

this song. My faves Gungor song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJfiXhI5Uiw


And we're about to enter a pretty sad season and it's stilly to be sad about it but everythings about to change....for better or worse.

it's aint pretty when a heart breaks.