I believe in a lot of things. I believe that fall is full of magic. I believe in pinkie swearing. I believe in memories being coated with a rosey color. I believe in being an idealist. I believe, of course in Jesus and love having the power to over come...everything. I believe in laughing too hard, family and belonging to a place.
There are, however, very few things I believe in more than friendship. Your people. Your best pals. I whole heartedly believe that best friends are God's way of telling us "i see you, and to prove it, I'm going to give you this person...so the world doesn't seem so crazy"
As a part time extrovert, i like people, mostly. However, I will be content with spending my time with a select group. I can count the people i'd die for (minus family) on two hands.
still, taking a bullet for 10 people...seems profoundly large.
I thrive on people who know me well. , With whom i have a deep, complicated history. Who make me laugh, and who, at the end of the day, know my favorite things and are willing to watch endless hours of crappy tv with me. Who will crawl under piles of blankets and cups of coffee, tea or wine and settle in for some quality time. Those people who will grab your hand when your scared and squeeze it enough to let you know that it's okay, then immediately shove you into whatever it is you're terrified of.
Because as much as you need a push, you also need to know you have a soft place to land.
People who feel like coming home. People who you are reminded of by a song or a season or a smell. People whom you borrow clothing form and never return that one item because you wear it when you're missing home and need to feel brave.
People who have seen you cry, you've called frantically, and they've dropped everything to put gas in your take when you've stupidly run out, or brought over pizza and wine when life seem to be too much....and deciphered your tears enough to know that chocolate cake was the answer to whatever was breaking your heart.
The people who love you, broken and wounded, the people who love you enough to listen to the same thing over and over and over again. The knower of the backstory. The amazing present buyer.the ..we're in this together....people.
I think one of the bravest things anyone can do in the their life time is offer up their heart to people. Let them hold it in their hand, while you hold theirs. it's not easy to apologize, or to be lost or confused by life in front of other people. It's humbling and vulnerable and you just want to slink away...but these people....they reflect the best parts of you. Reminders that your strong, and that they're right with you when you need to borrow their strength.
Tonight i watched a video of me and my three best friends from college lip syncing to "call me maybe" it was at a time when i wasn't sure what would happen to us, when i felt them slipping away for awhile while i traveled down uncharted roads to find myself again....but looking at the video you'd never know it.
Sometimes i ache for that feeling of a best friend. For the person who looks at me and say....you're my number one. I've learned, though, as you get older , the place people hold in your lives is different. The people i consider my best pals right now, might not consider me one....and that's okay. Because it doesn't matter if you're wearing best friends bracelets.
it matters that if a text comes in, or a call comes through that says "i need you," you're there. even if you're not sure what to say...or how to act or what to do.
The act of just showing up not having the right anything....is brave and will literally change the life of something who needs you.
I guess my point is, i sometimes i get hung up on dumb things like labels because i need affirmation...but when i stop to look at the truth of my life, its this: I have had the great honor of loving and being loved by amazing people. Some for a season, some, no matter how much distance or time has past will show up....because that is what love looks like.
So, tell your people that you love them as often as you can, even when it feels like you tell them all the time. Tell me because that tribe of weridos that claim you, and would fight for you....they are special and God gave you each other to get through this one precious, wild life with....
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