No perfect people allowed

I mean here are some more things i have to say.

Tonight i was at a staff holiday party at a church where i work. I work at a church. I work at a church. Sometimes I still can't believe it.  It has actually been my dream, as lame as that sounds, for a while now.  A dream that would have never really been real had it not been for some super key people. Well, mostly one key person.

I do Internet stuff, which I'm absolutely not qualified to do, but some how, it is working out pretty OK. I think. I also volunteer at the youth group. I hang out with 9 wicked smart, funny, beautiful senior girls who will change the world. I am so proud of them and i love them so, so, so much.

And, really, i love everyone i work with. They are all eclectic and eccentric and dramatic in ways that i'm not. Some are absolutely my people and others aren't, but really, they have amazing hearts. They love Jesus and they are doing the best they can.

And for all the crazy, there's a whole lot of good coming out of that place. Peoples lives are changed. People feel like they belong somewhere. People are saying the most important "yes" they will ever say.  And to watch that happen? To watch God answer prayers, and do his thing in a way that i can see? Well, how can you not love that?

I never thought I'd leave my artsy, baby, little church in the city for and established, suburban, big church. I  never thought that there were people who would love me even when they didn't need me to do something for them.

I also never thought that i'd be working for my favey for life. I also didn't think it would be hard, but it is, but in a good, refining way. She pushes me to do better, think bigger, try harder. I feel like she's my biggest critic and strongest encourager. She's got my back and as much as she's  the first one to call me on my bullshit, she's absolutely the one that will jump in the ring for me, first. I love her for all of that. I love that she trusts me, challenges me, and loves me well. I'm pretty sure no one has loved their boss, as much as i do. I also am pretty sure that there is an empolyee that would literally jump in front of a train for their boss...so...she's kinda lucky, too.

So, really, while my path is pretty unpaved, and random and has lots of stops and starts, I am living some big dreams of mine. I get to be where i want to be, and spend my time with who i want to spend my time with. I can love Jesus with my whole heart, but cuss a little, too.  It's hard, it's sometimes insane, but it's so, so, beautiful.

I never saw myself at Crossroads or in the grove, or loving the people that i love, but Praise G for real that he wins and that i listen, even though i'm mostly stubborn.

So tonight, I think i will put away my snark, and just feel nothing but deep gratitude for all that i have, and all the people that love me the best way they know how.

Tonight, i'll forget about the sad stuff, the hard things that tend to leave me jaded, and i'll be thankful for the way people trust me, give me opportunities to learn and lead and walk along side me while i do it.

And the people who saw something in my that i didn't see? The ones who sat through awkward coffee as i processed and slowly but surely gave up more of myself to God. The ones who made me talk when  i didn't want to, and understood when i didn't have the words.  The ones to took off the training wheels and let me run with whatever i had in my hands. The ones who love me, who tell me the truth and continue to push me to do things i never thought i could do, I guess I owe them an awful lot.

I know that thank you will never suffice. I dont' think there are any words i could put together in a pretty little paragraph that would adequately convey my gratitude.

I'll just gladly spend my life making sure they know how much i love them.