we've all got bruises.....

I think God is funny. Not like, haha, funny...more like...i told you so. funny.  (and my major use of the ellipsis (...) is proof positive that I've officially crossed over to the Crossroads side, forgive me, for the excessive use in this post)

I also think that we complicate the easy stuff like loving people and helping people, and we simplify the complicated: relationships, self-awareness, humility etc.

We box ourselves in with deal breakers and rules and guidelines. Its like Murphy's Law for things that consistently defy linear explanation. 

If this is truth or happens....then this must also be true and/or happen....doesn't really work with matters of the heart, or...faith for that matter. 

The whole "turn the other cheek thing" is alone enough proof to prove my point. 

I truly believe that i'm in a season of becoming...becoming what exactly, is yet to be determined....but...becoming is happening, and in order to evolve there is the awareness that gotta happen. 

awareness, humbling....patayto..patahhhto and i'm getting an extra dose of it lately which is actually kind of great and terrible at the same time. 

There is this weird mirror thing happening, i can't take credit for the analogy but i'll steal it and run with it. 

I'm not proud. 

So lately, i've been...perhaps a little too honest, or at least, a little too blunt in my honesty, yet totally insecure in my responses to other people. 

I'm able to see myself in both lights. What it sounds like when i'm sassy and blunt and filterless....and then i somehow get to watch what it looks like when i'm feeling fragile. 

it's real interesting and i don't really have words to describe this little things that's happening, but i really like it. Iron sharpens iron, right? but sometimes iron pokes skin and it hurts and you have to fix it. 

It's oddly both full of effort and effortless because you have to have the hard conversation sometimes, and you have to apologize and explain and be real honest about real dumb stuff....but it's also totally fear free and kind of liberating and ultimately part of becoming....together and apart. 

and i just never thought, which is probably why it's happening exactly like it is. 

It's easier to be kinder to yourself when you see part of yourself in other people, and ultimately it's this great unifying thing....to discover we are more alike than different. 

And no, i don't think there are a lot of people who get to have a little bit of a reflection, but i think that everyone has the potential to see themselves through other people. 

so...i completely lost what i was gonna say...so i'm gonna go to bed.