Sometimes loving people is exhausting, but you're not supposed to say that. Sometimes it's frustrating, and hard and confusing, but you're not supposed to say that, either.
And i guess i don't understand why we trying to make an emotional thing like, love, a rational, straight forward thing, when it isn't.
Right now, I'm feeling exceptionally vulnerable, kind of waiting for my bottom to drop again, and halfway between believing that being able to love people is our biggest gift and thinking that loving people is just the worst idea ever.
half way between, but tempered by rosey side of things.
I do know, that my biggest heartbreaks have not been the boys i've dated, but my closest friends...my people, my tribe of people who i counted on for honesty, and comfort and love.
and i'm still kinda puttin' the pieces back so the glue is still a little wet.
i don't think i believe in forever for anything anymore.
but you're not supposed to say that....
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