Tonight, as I finish reading Love Does for the third time, I'm holding on to that idea.
I am learning how to get out of the way. I'm learning how to do things because you love someone and not want or need anything out of it. I'm learning how, for better or worse, to keep my mouth shut.
I'm learning how to not take things personally. I'm learning how to understand, to just be still, to be available but not be over....anything....
and it's actually really hard for me. I'm a huge ball of insecurity and I'm learning how to not need outside affirmation.
Being humble, loving well, being honest, and being present are all things i want to be. I want people to see when they look at me...the process, however, is not the best.
Tomorrow, I'm gonna start a fast. I haven't decided how long it will be but once a week, from sun up to sun down, I'm gonna fast, I'm gonna be real intentional about praying for my people, for God to speak louder than the lies in my head, and for Jesus to answer our impossible prayers.
I believe my God is big and able.
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