i don't have the answers, and neither do you....

some thoughts i'm thinking.

1. i'm drunk.
2. i'm  really into the song December by Sara bareilles
3. i'm kind of a terrible human sometimes.
4. i'm excited to get some morning time with Rita tomorrow. my whole life feels off when there's no rita.
5. i've been real good about keepin things to myself.
6. wine helps my heart feel better.
7. i'm way more selfish than i'd like to admit. workin' on it.
8. i'm so confused most of the time.
9. i haven't been hugged by my parents in almost 8 months and that's probably a huge contributing factor to why currently feel zero affirmation.
10. i miss my kindalls.
11. change makes me cry.
12. i continue to believe that people are just doing the best they can
13. i kinda maybe might like a boy...a little....that hasn't happened in a real long time. it's times like these when i miss Melissa.
14. i miss melissa and that comes with all the shame in guilt in the world.
15.  the Internet is magic. i dont' understand it. i have no idea if i'm doing an ok job at work or not.
16. i cry a lot. about good things and sad things
17.  everything is weird.
18. i know Jesus is gonna make everything awesome.
19. I'm really trying to be secretly awesome.
20. i need to be humbled on the regular.
21. had an amazing lunch with Jessa and Erik today. They are my people. like for real.
22. the weirdest things happen when i least expect it.
23. i still believe big things are coming.
24. i miss my family but im stubborn and will never admit it....except here. in this moment.
25. "Amen" is my favorite song.
26. i really want to know the two people are that read this stupid blog and if they think i'm completely crazy.
27. i give all the of the effs. about almost everything.
28. i want to be a person who lives a life of value...i have no idea if that's actually happening.
29. To quote juno "i'm not sure what kind of girl i am"
30. Ben Rector is the best. i love him so much.
31. remember when i had things under control? Yeah, unfortunately nobody in my life right now does. But i do.
32. lisa is my very favorite person. followed by brad and rita.
33. i'm really into the holiday season right now and hot chocolate.
34. what if i never get married.
35. where is Jesus in all of this.
36. I JUST WANT A TATTOO. and i love the idea of getting matching tattoos with someone....that is a pipe dream. i think it's just a beautiful idea and sentiment.
37. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING.
38. I think it's it'll be ok though. In fact, i think it'll be better than ok.
39. hate being an only child. i'd be the best aunt.
40. i have to get up at like 4:30. but rita's meeting  me with chai, and cozy rita time.
41. I wear out words almost to the point where they lose meaning.
42. i'm sorry, i dont' mean to be difficult.
43. there's really no place i'd rather be than right here.