can't complain about much these days....i believe we'll be ok.

I walk around on most days thinking that the majority of people who know me, think i'm a stellar human.

They think i'm nice and i care about people, and that i work hard, and always have good intentions. I love Jesus and i'm doing the best i can.

All of that is mostly true. i'm super loyal, and i'll do just about anything short of a felony for someone i love, and depending on who it is, i could probably be talked into a felony. Ride or die.

But there is this part of me that comes out when i'm wounded or feeling hurt. It's like the exact opposite of any of the aforementioned good qualities.

i can freeze you out like a boss, i can be so snarky you wont be able to tell if i'm serious or not but either way you'll be offended. i push bottoms, i hit pressure points just subtly enough for it to be felt but not make super big waves.

it's unpleasant. for everyone but i get to sit in the justified seat of "you were terrible, i'm just giving it back as good as i get it" type thing.

Trust me, it's not a quality i love. i know that i do it.

but i guess i didn't realize that other people know i do it, too. It's embarrassing really.

But i need to know. in order for me not to be the worst human, i need to know that other people are noticing.

Instead of everyone talking about how i'm being ridiculous, maybe just tell me. helpful to tell me when i'm being ridiculous instead of telling other people about it.

i'll adjust my sails, i promise.