What?

i'm beginnging to think that maybe
everyone's full of shit.
myself included

we're dreaming big dreams
hoping for someday and
the other side
when things wont be so....
shitty.hard, werid awkward
take your pick of words
because i got a whole list
and it keeps growing
because nothing gets resolved
it just keeps evolving

im beginning to think that maybe
there's something wrong with me
hoping for happ(ier) endings
and resolutions
that aren't razor sharp
softening blows
i was never meant to take
and you'll feel anyway.

I mean it's really something
to learn how to tell you heart
to hush.
it's  for your own good
to put up fences you can see through
and reach through
so you're far enough removed
that your heart only breaks a little

the construction of my fence
is a little shoddy.  there are gapeing holes
and broken boards....
Call me Tom Sawyer
because im trying to get other people
to do the building for me
because the idea of not jumping in
heart first is foreign 

There are lessons to be learned, though
cuts and bruises form missing the mark.
eventually though, i am hoping
for the satisfaction
of a job well done
and the safety of being
fenced in.