Sam I am...

You're 18, and a soon-to-be high school graduate. You've made it through what may be the most awkward and ridiculous 4 years of anyone's life, and you did it like a boss.

You see, Sam, you've managed to grab on to my heart, and now, there is where you will stay. Because, you're kind of a super special kid. You've over come more adversity than I will ever know.
Where every day is struggle to control impulses and figuring out how to navigate the social hell that is high school on top of the roller coaster ride that has been the last four years..

Sam, you're incredible. Your heart bleeds for other people. You mourn things with more sincerity  than anyone I know. You are opinionated, and passionate and a wonderful musician. I love how much you love sports, and music and politics. That you gesture like your dad. You love like your mom. The best parts of them are in you.

In knowing you, I have met Jesus in more ways than I can count. I will never know what's its like to be inside your head, but i do know that though it may be hard, and your thoughts might be jumbled and noisy, you project love and kindness to those around you.

Though you make me completely crazy when you make me turn off Katy Perry, or fight with me about doing the any of your chores....i love you.

And i love that we can yell at each other and know there is nothing but love.

So thankful for your love of musicals, the foo fighters and billy Joel. And that you loved Almost famous, John Green books, Billy Collins and the Dead Poet Society. How you listen when I suggest something you might like. How many car ride chats we've had. how much you let me in on your dreams and fears. and how we can spend the whole day quoting "Perks" and that we love the Oscars...and we have parties. and we go to guitar center and you dont' freak out when i don't remember the cords you taught me last time....

I hope you understand how much you are loved, Sam and how much  you have to offer and teach this world. You are full of love and light and i'm just so proud of you.  You have grown into the best young adult. I can say that because i knew you before your voice changed.

Thank you for letting me be your faux big sister. I love you.

You're a special one. I can't wait to see what the next 18 years have in store.