public servcie announcment:

I have no idea what i'm doing.  Most days I can't tell if i'm supposed to follow someone else's lead or stick my neck out and lead something.

I can't ever decide.

I do know because i had to spend my "fun" money on my stupid negative bank account

i will be applying for all the jobs ever, every day until something happens.

because i have to do something.

I just wish 'something" involved working with the people i love doing Jesus stuff.

i think "something" might mean working at starbucks.

i'm too old for this shit.

yet most days i don't feel like a grown up.

mostly because not one part of my life resembles being a grown up.

Im grump today. 10 days is too long to go without lisa, it's cloudy, and i have to be up at the ass crack of dawn tomorrow.

for the love.

i'm the biggest idiot ever.

here's to being more of an adult and puttin' on the big girl pants.

pray about it. I'll need it.