Wednesday, April 30, 2014

The Truth, or something like it....

Life. is. hard. 

It just is, for everyone. Not a single person walking this earth hasn't struggled. They're "shambles" look different than mine or yours maybe, but rubble is rubble, and falling always hurts. 

And sometimes i forget that. Now, don't think I don't see the irony in the fact that I just posted a "shut up, open letter people" thing, because believe me i do. 

I struggle, i'm human, i'm mostly unfiltered and that's why i need Jesus. 

and so do you. that's not evangelism, it's just the truth. 

I've seen my fair share of struggle. I've watched it unfold like a tidal wave, leaving nothing but debris in it's wake. I've been waste deep in so much pain and confusion that no one knew which way to swim to shore. I've been speechless as i've watched good men fall from grace and beautiful, strong women brought to their knees. I've been on the kitchen floor, tshirt wet from the confusion of my own world, crumbling under the weight of trying to carry all of it. 

Yeah, we've all been there. And yeah, in Jesus there is restoration, and there is reconciliation, and there is love that defies understanding, but he's hasn't come back to get us yet, so what do we do in the mean time? 

Well, obviously, the answer is, we get our hands dirty. We hold hands and pull each other out of holes, we dig, we glue pieces back together, we plant new seeds. 

in short. We love each other because that's what we're called to. 

But the whole "love your neighbor" thing is often harder in practice than in theory because we are human, we are self serving, we want to protect ourselves first. 

And really, there is nothing wrong with that but we all need to just try a little bit harder sometimes. 

I used to, and sometimes still do, love people in a way that forces them to love me back. So they'll affirm me, and keep me in their live, but what i've learned over the past yearish is the love and accept love in way that pushes everyone to be better. 

And that means boundaries, that means telling the truth, that means more often than not, doing right thing over the comfortable thing. 

I've always claimed to have honest people in my life. Friends who have the authority to speak into my life and let me into theirs.

Now that i actually have that, i know in the past it wasn't like that at all.  Honesty sometimes makes me want to crawl out of my skin. The mirror that is held up to me sometimes makes feel less than awesome but i need to look at it, and i need to figure it out. When you're given the same power and you have to tell someone you love the truth, you want to be gentle but in a way that they'll hear it. 

i'm so thankful to have that kind of friendship. and so thankful for the person that type of friendship is molding me and shaping me to become and how i've become less selfish and i know what it's like to go to batt for someone and truly mean it. 

The trick is being able to hear and tell the truth in a way that honest, but gentle and also constructive and that is never easy and i know we're still all workin' on it. Delciate balance, different for everyone. But when you know someone is truly on your side, it makes that hard stuff easier to swallow.  A spoonful of sugar. 

So what's stopping us form being on each other's sides? i think it's rooted in fear, and insecurity. i think we need to start breaking those ties that hold us down.

This isn't easy and i have no proposal of how to go about this. Especially because i know there are people i would be terrible to because i knew they hurt someone i cared about. 

See, i have work to do, too. 

I think it helps to  stop sometimes and remind ourselves that the people who are standing in front of us are real. they have heart beats and feelings and have struggled and overcome or are just trying to survive. 

And how would you treat the person standing in front of you if they were your best friend or you mom or your grandma? How would you want other people to treat them. 

It's perspective, and its super helpful to me when i'm stuck in a "self righteous rut" 

So, my goal for the second half of this year is to be FOR some of the people i'm against.  

baby steps indeed. 

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