things you (can't) tell just by looking at her:

i'm hiding behind a smile.

This is my life and i want you to know that i'm both happy and sad.
and still trying to figure out how that can be.
it seems strange.
i'm not crazy
or depressed really,
just trying to make it through the day
without falling
or failing
or making anyone mad.
or disappointed

i'm just a little scared. and overwhelmed.
there are a couple dents in my fender.

sometimes i put my pillow over my head and let the quiet
put things where they are supposed to be.
things i can't put away on my own.
quiet seems to do that.

sometimes the quiet get too loud.
and then i listen to beautiful songs
and i believe for 3:34
that the world is beautiful
and doens't mean to break your heart

in my head, i know that this is just "life"
and actually, what makes it beautiful
but being in the tick of it,
it doens't seem so lovely.

Even with all the overwhelming feelings
the ones that threaten to crush me
the ones that mess everything up.
There is still a lot of happiness
and reasons to smile.

The times where there is laughter
real laughter. the kind that involves your whole body.
and tears. and sore cheeks
those are the times to wait for.

The stress melts
into a puddle that floats away
and happy takes over
hearts feel lighter
love penentrates the ugly
the light starts to shine
and another day begins.